Easter thoughts

Happy Easter everyone.  There is finally a bit of spring in the air today in fact as I am typing this my husband is actually in the garden for the first time this year.  

I just wanted to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard with a few thoughts I had about Easter.  

On Friday we had a Communion Service at Church.  It was a lot more sombre then usual mainly because there were only one or two children there as opposed to the 50 or so who are usually in Church on a Sunday. 

We sang How Deep the Fathers Love for Us.  I was really moved by this song.  The bit that struck me was the line "Why should I gain from his reward.  I can not give an answer"  It seems amazing to me that someone would willingly go through everything that Jesus went through not just for me but for the whole of mankind.  But then I think of my children after all this song is about our Fathers love.  My boys are such a blessing I love helping them to learn and grow. 

At school this week my oldest son had an Easter Garden competition.  He decided to make his out of lego!!! I was so proud of him he did it all by himself.  

So how does this link with the song. Well as a parent it is my pleasure and joy to help my children grow into well rounded and good people.  It's not an easy job but I love it.  The love that our heavenly Father has for us is so amazing so vast that he would send his son to die for us that we could have a relationship with him through the Holy Spirit.  It is the ultimate parental sacrifice.  However it is also impossible for us to truly comprehend that level of absolute love.  

No matter who we are not matter what we have done in our past our heavenly Father loves us with such a passion.  When we allow him into our lives and into our hearts he can help and guide us to be the people he wants us the be. 

So to me Easter is the ultimate expression of our heavenly Fathers love for us.  Why do we gain from His reward.  The answer is unconditional love although it's a love that we can only imagine and wonder at.  

The flip side

Below is the response to one of my posts that my husband wrote in his own blog.   

My only comment is that I don't believe I have unduly influenced the boys.  Yes they do go to a Church of England school but I chose that school for them as it was the best school within walking distance of our house and I did not have a strong faith view when I chose that school.  

Yes I am pleased the boys like to come to Sunday School and our oldest son goes to a youth club at Church too.  However they do not have to go and they know they can stay home with daddy if they want to and I sometimes encourage this as I like to go to Church without having to worry about where the boys are while I am having fellowship with my friends sometimes.  

They know mummy and daddy both have different views and I would never tell them that one view was right or wrong they are people in their own right and have the right to make their own decisions. 

Anyway here is Kevin's blog post.  

In response to my wife’s blog post (see A place of mutual respect) this one of mine is from my point of view, here I will keep it short, it is a blog entry after all. Shameless plug time, I will expand on this aspect of our relationship in my book ‘A Path Laid Bare’, to be published November 2013, The Wolfenhowle Press.

When we met over 10 years ago, I did make Hazel aware of my spiritual side, although I do admit I was vague, my path is vague even to me as I don’t follow any particular established pagan traditions so there have never been any convenient label I can attach to my journey. What was something I could firmly explain is the life long connection with my goddess Selket, even so that was perhaps vague too. I left it open ended and happy to answer any questions should she have them.

Hazel at this time was undecided if she had or wanted a spiritual path, her sister of course I knew was a committed Christian so in a way there was some background, or familiarity with that particular path more than any other. I was happy to leave it at that, I’ve never been one to push my particular beliefs at anyone and unless you already know me, most people who encounter me will be blissfully unaware as I have never been fond of obvious trappings as I don’t have any to dangle in front of people. Not to say I’ve ever been trying to hide my path, on the contrary I am willing to discuss openly any aspect of my path for those that want to know, as mine tends towards all being in the mind through meditation, vitalisation and project, the witness my practices and the potential of Hazel to form any opinion about them were severely limited.

Over the following years we lived quite happily in Dover and with the birth of our children increasing interaction with the local community with things such as nursery school, play groups and school led Hazel to encounter many activities at a local community centre that is housed in a Christian centre. Slowly I could see the increasing interest and flicker of awaking spiritual needs. At first, and I will be quite honest here, I thought this could become a problem not knowing how others would react more than anything. We’ve been together long enough and both are well aware of each other to know if we are bad people or not, so I hoped that this would work out.

I needn’t have been concerned as it turned out as Hazel’s involvement and growth at that Church continued the lack of my appearance at services perhaps became apparent, and so my reasons had to really be explained. I was most surprised at the acceptance, yes there were a few curious glances especially at Hazel baptism that I attended, and other subsequent times I’ve been around others from the church I’ve felt their interest to understand what I do, although none have broached the subject for whatever reason. 

In any case, the happiness that I saw Hazel gain from these experiences and the conversations comparing and contrasting each other’s beliefs has led to a deepening in our relationship, for there is much in common between a pagan and Christian path that many fail to notice and instead like to focus on the differences, usually because they want to use it as a weapon. It has and will continue to be a difference between us, but it will continue to unite us, for the occasions when Hazel comes home from church to excitedly explain that such and such experience she had, and I would agree and say yes, us pagans call that experience by another word and it is most wondrous isn’t it? That is what should be that binds all the faiths together and not the differences.

Our children go to a Church of England school, and Hazel takes them to Sunday school, that may suggest an undue influence but our boys have their own choices to make, if they see what Christianity has and at the opportunities that I have with them to explain a little of mine, they can make their choice when they feel they can. Sound understanding is vital no matter which path they finally choose as it will strength their own and provide an understanding of the others point of view.

A very special lady

It's Mothers Day here in the UK today and I just had to write about the greatest inspiration in my life, my mum. 

I have to say it's not been an easy job for her being my mum.  As a teenager in particular I was not very easy.  I was stroppy and irritable and did not like being told what to do even if it was for my own good.  However I can honestly say that my mum has always had my best interests at heart. 

I would be lying if I said at no point did I resent my mum for me having sight problems as our condition is hereditary.  To be honest though I hated the world because to my mind it hated me.  I was a self obsessed teenager as they all are to some extent.  My mum being the closest to me was the focus of that and I am sorry for the worry and hurt I caused her.  However my mum was always there for me no matter how much of a cow I was.  Now that I am a mum I am finally beginning to understand how difficult it is being a parent.  Kids don't come with an instruction manual and all you can do is do your best. 

However I have lots of wonderful memories of our time as a family.  We used to do lots together at the weekends.  I loved out trips to the roller rink and swimming or just playing board games together.  I hope that I can do the same for my children spending real quality time with them is so important.  I used to long for the school holidays and wished they would never end as I would much rather be with my family then at school. 

Because my mum also had cataracts as a baby that has helped her to be able to help me.  I feel I am the person I am today because of her encouragement and her determination that I should be as independent as possible and for that mum there are no the words to express my gratitude.  Her story of travelling on her own to Italy to surprise my dad when they were newly weds is a great inspiration.  It shows me that if I am determined enough I can do whatever I set my mind to. 

We are so close in so many ways and it is brilliant that I have a mum who I am also proud to call my friend.  However I think the only down side of this is that we on occasion hurt each others feelings without realising it.  For this mum I am truly sorry.  I feel that when I let you down it hurts more because I love you so much and I don't want to hurt you.  

Now I am an adult and have, well hopefully, grown up a bit I love spending time with my mum.  We do have a good laugh when we are together and we have certainly had our share of fun adventures.  One that springs to mind is when I won a pair of cinema tickets in a competition.  We had a bit of a trek to get to the Cinema as it was in London and it was a bit of a panic wondering whether we would catch out train home as at first we got on the wrong underground platform then had a dash through a shopping centre that was about to close to get to the station but we made it and had lots of laughs on the way.  

I am so grateful that God gave me such a special, funny, wonderful and caring mum.  I really pray that I can follow her example and be a good mum to my boys.  I know I will not always get it right but I have an exceptional example to follow. 

A place of mutual respect.

My husband is not a Christian and in fact he follows what appears to be a very different path.  As I did not have any particular strong views on faith it's not something we really talked about much before we got married.  I knew a little about his faith but not much really and he has until recently been fairly private about it and that was OK with me.  

When we were first married there was a lot going on in our lives with our new house, work and then with the birth of our children.  Particularly with Andrew and all his eye surgery there was little space to think about anything else in our lives.  

Around the time that William started school things had settled down into a good routine.  Kevin started to be more active in his own faith path.  When I decided to write about this I asked him what the best way to describe his faith was.   He said it's hard to explain it simply.  I said that when I try to explain to people I tell them that he believes an Egyptian Goddess guides him and that he also believes in a lot of Pagan / Celtic stuff too. He said that is probably the easiest way to explain although it's kind of complicated.  Kev now goes to several Pagan / Wiccan gatherings a year and is active in several Pagan groups online. 

To be honest as a new Christian I felt a bit overwhelmed by his revived interest in this aspect of his life.  I was really not sure how to handle it.  I was really worried that it might be something I could not get past and that my newly found faith may not be reconciled with his.  I have prayed a lot about my feelings and I have talked to people at my Church about it who have been very supportive.   

I really believe that we are now closer in understanding each other then ever before.  I admit there are still some aspects of his spiritual life I feel uncomfortable with because of my own faith but I think this is also partially because I don't fully understand it. 

I was really pleased that Kevin came to my Baptism and although I know he did not listen to the sermon I wish he had.  The Pastor that day said something that has stuck with me these past 2 years.  I can't remember it word for word but the Pastor said that God has done wonderful things in his life and even if he is wrong about God (although he is certain he isn't) then at the end of the day he has lived a spirit filled and blessed life and that can't be a bad thing.  

Kev's path might not be for me and visa versa.  There are aspects that are very different.  However we both feel that we are growing in spirituality and Kevin is always asking questions about my experiences and about what's going on at Church / House Group.  I hope he has seen a change for the better in me.  I am happy that we can talk about out own experiences and we have had many a discussion about how happy I am in my Church being as it is so Spirit led and we are encouraged to have our own personal relationship with the Holy Spirit. 

I do feel that something drew us together and as I have said in previous blogs I don't believe there is such a thing as coincidence everything is part of God's plan for us.  I do feel that although our spiritual lives appear on the surface very different I do believe there are aspects at the core that are very similar.  I don't believe it is right for me to judge Kev's path or indeed anyone's we all have to make our own decisions in life.  A loving relationship is based on mutual respect of each other and I think we have arrived at a place where we do respect each others paths we accept the differences and value the similarities.