Time flies

Well it has been a while since I wrote a blog post, getting on for six months. I can not believe where the time has gone.  It has been mainly a very good year

I will have to catch up with writing about The Big Church day out weekend, Sunday School teachers network and Torch Trust as well as some good family time over the summer as well as thinking about how my faith is continuing to grow and develop.
 
Change on many levels for me seems to have been a big theme this year and will continue into 2014 as well I think. Apart from my hair going to blonde then dark again lol.

Blonde Hazel

However will save all that for another day. What I had it on my heart to write about today is taking time to stop, reflect and get back to God. It is so easy to get carried away with our busy lives that we need to slow down and take stock of what we are doing and where we are. Also spending time with God in prayer and reading the word can so easily take a back seat particularly when things are chugging along nicely.  However God has a way of drawing us back into the fold. My boys were learning about the good shepherd in Sunday school this morning. William said on our way home that we are the sheep and when we get lost or go our own way Jesus gets us back where we are meant to be.

 We are doing an evening bible study on 1 John for the last 2 Sundays.  It has been interesting and challenging and I am learning a lot.  Last Sunday the Pastor who is leading tonight's session suggested I take a look at this weeks chapter.  I have read and thought about it several times this week and get more meaning from it every time.  It always amazes me how when you read the word and ask the Spirit for knowledge you learn so much.  This happened recently with a Sunday school lesson on first glance at the text it did not make sense but after praying about it I think I learned as much if not more then the children.  

I had a rough day on Thursday the circumstances of which I cant really go into.  Something I thought was an answer to prayer did not turn out the way I expected. I felt hurt by people I trusted even though that was not their intention. However this situation made me cry out to God in a way I have not done before and of course He is faithful. At work on Friday one of the Pastors was preaching on Psalm 30 "weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning".  I spent time reading this Psalm and it really helped me put things in perspective but also reminded me that God is in all things. 

At Church this morning the worship was all on the theme of getting closer to and trusting God. We sang Be Thou My Vision, Cornerstone and You Alone can Rescue. I could not stop the tears from flowing although I was not crying because I was sad any more.  I thank God for being there for me this week although of course He is always there and I pray I will continue to learn and grow in faith, trust and understanding.

Seize the moment

I am having a busy week this week as it's our Praise a Thon at work.  It's a bit tiring as I am working until 1am and then getting up to get the kids ready for school in the mornings but I am loving it and it's only for a couple of weeks.  

Planning for this week had got me thinking about life.  Why to we rush around like headless chickens trying to have it all.  In Luke Jesus says "Look at the Ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more."  I love this scripture but I also feel that as we "count for more" we also have responsibility that comes with that.  In the book of James it talks a lot about faith and deeds and how the two are not mutually exclusive.  During Praise a Thon there is of course a lot of focus on giving  as it costs a lot of money to run a multi station TV Network.  However I think deeds are like giving and have to be handled with the same spirit at their core.  

If you give grudgingly and because you feel you have to then what's the point of that.  If you are a "cheerful giver" then even the act of giving will bless you and I believe that counts for our energy, our efforts and our time as well.  

When we do the work the Lord has put in our path with everything we have it will bless us.  I love that Stephen Curtis Chapman song "Do Everything" whether you are "hooking up mergers" or "cooking up burgers" or "sweeping up lost cheerios that got away"  if you do it with a heart for God then God sees it all the same.  We are all different and all have different gifts and talents and I think we should celebrate that not everyone is made to be a teacher, a preacher or a high flying executive just as not everyone can be a parent or care for the elderly.  All our talents are unique and best suited to the plan God has for our life and every part is needed and valuable.  In a large machine if one part did not work properly even if that part was tiny the whole would not function properly that is the same with our bodies, our Churches and our wider community.  

So where am I going on this ramble.  Well I think you have to seize the moment as you never know what is round the corner.  Work hard at what is put in front of you to do but also play hard too.  I had the pleasure of going to the park with my son's class yesterday and pushing the kids on the roundabout and being buried by them in the sand really made their day and that is just as valuable as negotiating a million dollar contract if your heart is in the right place. 

An Awesome Experience

On the 18th April I had an awesome experience.  As I have blogged about before I work for TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) Europe.  At the moment we are based in my home town but TBN have bought premises in London and are refitting them to be studios so that many different kinds of programme can be filmed here in the UK for the first time on this network.  

As part of the celebrations for TBN's 40th Anniversary there was to be a special Praise the Lord programme recorded at the studio on the 18th April.  So although the studios are far from finished the main studio was made ready for this recording.  

The day did not go to a brilliant start for me.  After dropping my boys off at school I headed down to the office where we were meeting to get a minibus to London.  However on my way I fell over and landed flat on my front.  It was not very dignified but I got quickly up and although a bit shaken got to the office on time.  

We arrived in London at about lunchtime and after some fire safety training had a couple of hours spare to get something to eat and help get everything ready for the audience to arrive.  
 
It was great to meet many of our partners who we speak to but had not met in person.  Putting faces to the voices on the other end of the telephone was exciting for everyone.  They were all just as happy as we were to be there for this historic first recording even though it was not the formal opening of the building and the facilities were a bit rough around the edges.

We all took our seats at 7pm ready for the recording to start.  The Martins, a brother and 2 sisters, opened with a song.  I have seen them on the television many times while I have been at work but hearing them live was just so much better.  The whole audience was on their feet.  

Paul Crouch and his son and daughter lead the evening and there were guest Pastors from the London area.  The messages from these Pastors were very powerful and I felt as I believe everyone else did in that room that we were all part of the start of wonderful things to come.  

It was after midnight by the time we got home but it was an awesome experience.  I feel so honoured and blessed to have been a part of it and I can't wait to see the programme when it's broadcast.  

Words are Powerful

There is that saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me".  I don't agree I think words are powerful they can leave wounds that go very deep.  They may not be visible but they are still there.  Words are also very positive and can really lift your spirits.  

The reason I decided to write about this is that I was feeling a bit low this morning.  It's the school holidays but my kids have not been very well.  Had planned a nice day out yesterday but the kids were not up for it and then I had my in laws visit so things were not going as I had hoped.  Then after a bad nights sleep I had work today. 

On the way I had to go to the opticians to get my glasses fixed.  The lady in the shop said that she really liked how I had my hair, I am growing it at the moment.  That simple compliment really lifted my spirits.  We also had a bit of a joke about me having more then one screw loose this morning and by the time I got to work I was in a really good mood.  All tiredness was forgotten and we had a fantastic day with lots of laughs along the way.  

Such a simple thing as a compliment or a critical word really does affect our whole day.  It's really amazing.  It is also a great responsibility as we often don't realise the affect our words have on other people.  It makes me think of that saying "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all".  I think the world would be a better place if we were able to stick to that rule.  

So I thought I would have a look tonight about what the bible has to say on the subject, after all it is the Word of God.  

I am sure there is more but here are a couple of verses that I found.  
In Ephesians 2:29 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Also in Proverbs 16:23-24  "The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body."

However how do we react when people do say horrible things.  Yes they do hurt and sometimes hurt deeply but we all have to guard against this.  No one is perfect.  I know several times when I have opened my mouth before I have engaged my brain and said something I have regretted.   So in conclusion I share with you from Ecclesiastes 7:20-22 

"Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins. Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others."
  




 

Easter thoughts

Happy Easter everyone.  There is finally a bit of spring in the air today in fact as I am typing this my husband is actually in the garden for the first time this year.  

I just wanted to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard with a few thoughts I had about Easter.  

On Friday we had a Communion Service at Church.  It was a lot more sombre then usual mainly because there were only one or two children there as opposed to the 50 or so who are usually in Church on a Sunday. 

We sang How Deep the Fathers Love for Us.  I was really moved by this song.  The bit that struck me was the line "Why should I gain from his reward.  I can not give an answer"  It seems amazing to me that someone would willingly go through everything that Jesus went through not just for me but for the whole of mankind.  But then I think of my children after all this song is about our Fathers love.  My boys are such a blessing I love helping them to learn and grow. 

At school this week my oldest son had an Easter Garden competition.  He decided to make his out of lego!!! I was so proud of him he did it all by himself.  

So how does this link with the song. Well as a parent it is my pleasure and joy to help my children grow into well rounded and good people.  It's not an easy job but I love it.  The love that our heavenly Father has for us is so amazing so vast that he would send his son to die for us that we could have a relationship with him through the Holy Spirit.  It is the ultimate parental sacrifice.  However it is also impossible for us to truly comprehend that level of absolute love.  

No matter who we are not matter what we have done in our past our heavenly Father loves us with such a passion.  When we allow him into our lives and into our hearts he can help and guide us to be the people he wants us the be. 

So to me Easter is the ultimate expression of our heavenly Fathers love for us.  Why do we gain from His reward.  The answer is unconditional love although it's a love that we can only imagine and wonder at.  

The flip side

Below is the response to one of my posts that my husband wrote in his own blog.   

My only comment is that I don't believe I have unduly influenced the boys.  Yes they do go to a Church of England school but I chose that school for them as it was the best school within walking distance of our house and I did not have a strong faith view when I chose that school.  

Yes I am pleased the boys like to come to Sunday School and our oldest son goes to a youth club at Church too.  However they do not have to go and they know they can stay home with daddy if they want to and I sometimes encourage this as I like to go to Church without having to worry about where the boys are while I am having fellowship with my friends sometimes.  

They know mummy and daddy both have different views and I would never tell them that one view was right or wrong they are people in their own right and have the right to make their own decisions. 

Anyway here is Kevin's blog post.  

In response to my wife’s blog post (see A place of mutual respect) this one of mine is from my point of view, here I will keep it short, it is a blog entry after all. Shameless plug time, I will expand on this aspect of our relationship in my book ‘A Path Laid Bare’, to be published November 2013, The Wolfenhowle Press.

When we met over 10 years ago, I did make Hazel aware of my spiritual side, although I do admit I was vague, my path is vague even to me as I don’t follow any particular established pagan traditions so there have never been any convenient label I can attach to my journey. What was something I could firmly explain is the life long connection with my goddess Selket, even so that was perhaps vague too. I left it open ended and happy to answer any questions should she have them.

Hazel at this time was undecided if she had or wanted a spiritual path, her sister of course I knew was a committed Christian so in a way there was some background, or familiarity with that particular path more than any other. I was happy to leave it at that, I’ve never been one to push my particular beliefs at anyone and unless you already know me, most people who encounter me will be blissfully unaware as I have never been fond of obvious trappings as I don’t have any to dangle in front of people. Not to say I’ve ever been trying to hide my path, on the contrary I am willing to discuss openly any aspect of my path for those that want to know, as mine tends towards all being in the mind through meditation, vitalisation and project, the witness my practices and the potential of Hazel to form any opinion about them were severely limited.

Over the following years we lived quite happily in Dover and with the birth of our children increasing interaction with the local community with things such as nursery school, play groups and school led Hazel to encounter many activities at a local community centre that is housed in a Christian centre. Slowly I could see the increasing interest and flicker of awaking spiritual needs. At first, and I will be quite honest here, I thought this could become a problem not knowing how others would react more than anything. We’ve been together long enough and both are well aware of each other to know if we are bad people or not, so I hoped that this would work out.

I needn’t have been concerned as it turned out as Hazel’s involvement and growth at that Church continued the lack of my appearance at services perhaps became apparent, and so my reasons had to really be explained. I was most surprised at the acceptance, yes there were a few curious glances especially at Hazel baptism that I attended, and other subsequent times I’ve been around others from the church I’ve felt their interest to understand what I do, although none have broached the subject for whatever reason. 

In any case, the happiness that I saw Hazel gain from these experiences and the conversations comparing and contrasting each other’s beliefs has led to a deepening in our relationship, for there is much in common between a pagan and Christian path that many fail to notice and instead like to focus on the differences, usually because they want to use it as a weapon. It has and will continue to be a difference between us, but it will continue to unite us, for the occasions when Hazel comes home from church to excitedly explain that such and such experience she had, and I would agree and say yes, us pagans call that experience by another word and it is most wondrous isn’t it? That is what should be that binds all the faiths together and not the differences.

Our children go to a Church of England school, and Hazel takes them to Sunday school, that may suggest an undue influence but our boys have their own choices to make, if they see what Christianity has and at the opportunities that I have with them to explain a little of mine, they can make their choice when they feel they can. Sound understanding is vital no matter which path they finally choose as it will strength their own and provide an understanding of the others point of view.

A very special lady

It's Mothers Day here in the UK today and I just had to write about the greatest inspiration in my life, my mum. 

I have to say it's not been an easy job for her being my mum.  As a teenager in particular I was not very easy.  I was stroppy and irritable and did not like being told what to do even if it was for my own good.  However I can honestly say that my mum has always had my best interests at heart. 

I would be lying if I said at no point did I resent my mum for me having sight problems as our condition is hereditary.  To be honest though I hated the world because to my mind it hated me.  I was a self obsessed teenager as they all are to some extent.  My mum being the closest to me was the focus of that and I am sorry for the worry and hurt I caused her.  However my mum was always there for me no matter how much of a cow I was.  Now that I am a mum I am finally beginning to understand how difficult it is being a parent.  Kids don't come with an instruction manual and all you can do is do your best. 

However I have lots of wonderful memories of our time as a family.  We used to do lots together at the weekends.  I loved out trips to the roller rink and swimming or just playing board games together.  I hope that I can do the same for my children spending real quality time with them is so important.  I used to long for the school holidays and wished they would never end as I would much rather be with my family then at school. 

Because my mum also had cataracts as a baby that has helped her to be able to help me.  I feel I am the person I am today because of her encouragement and her determination that I should be as independent as possible and for that mum there are no the words to express my gratitude.  Her story of travelling on her own to Italy to surprise my dad when they were newly weds is a great inspiration.  It shows me that if I am determined enough I can do whatever I set my mind to. 

We are so close in so many ways and it is brilliant that I have a mum who I am also proud to call my friend.  However I think the only down side of this is that we on occasion hurt each others feelings without realising it.  For this mum I am truly sorry.  I feel that when I let you down it hurts more because I love you so much and I don't want to hurt you.  

Now I am an adult and have, well hopefully, grown up a bit I love spending time with my mum.  We do have a good laugh when we are together and we have certainly had our share of fun adventures.  One that springs to mind is when I won a pair of cinema tickets in a competition.  We had a bit of a trek to get to the Cinema as it was in London and it was a bit of a panic wondering whether we would catch out train home as at first we got on the wrong underground platform then had a dash through a shopping centre that was about to close to get to the station but we made it and had lots of laughs on the way.  

I am so grateful that God gave me such a special, funny, wonderful and caring mum.  I really pray that I can follow her example and be a good mum to my boys.  I know I will not always get it right but I have an exceptional example to follow.